So,,a year and a half after mom died and I’m still between a rock and a hard place. I always thought that when things calmed down I’d have the time and energy to get my life organized and back on track. But I haven’t. Don’t get me wrong, I am in a better place than I was which is a really hard thing to say because it implies that you are better off without your loved one. But still the reality of running around trying to take care of so many things and so many people at one time is draining and one has to find a reliief valve somewhere, sometime. 

That is a subject for an other post.

Today I just want to write about/when you’ve been between a rock and a hard place for so long you wonder if you’re stuck here forever. 

So here are the questions you ask or tell yourself:

–  maybe I just need more time to grieve.

– I am lazy.

– I don’t have enough help

– maybe I need to accept that this is how my life is going to be

– maybe I need counseling.

– maybe I am sick.
The last thought is the one idea I’ve fought. I don’t seem that sick but I feel lousy. So for the last 14 years I’ve asked doctor after doctor what could be wrong with me. I have had several diagnoses and have thad many treatments and taken many different

 medications that have promised to give me my life back, but none have. 

I have found a new doctor that looks at illness through a whole different set of lenses and I have more hope now for getting well than I ever have, but perhaps I’ll talk about that in another post.

This post is about how you feel our what you think when your life seems to be stuck in reverse.. Some of you will read this and identify, others will think it sounds negative.  Take from it what is good and leave what ever is not. 

Are you stuck between a rock and a hard place? Have you been stuck in the past? How did you feel? What were your prayers? Did you feel closer our further away from God?

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